Five Months Following the Divorce

Five months since my divorce and some of my friends still act strange. Some of the friends that I keep in touch with anyway. People either ask how I'm doing and their eyes roll elsewhere, as they silently plead for me not to tell them, or they ask with such a wide smile, I wonder if they've read some handbook re: how to look pleasant when asking a potentially dangerous subject. Becuase while your friends care, the reality is that the majority of them are still married. And what married person wants to hear about your reentry into the single world? Most married people wear their marital status as a badge of honor. You're married, you're respectable. No longer married instantly begs the question, what did you do [wrong]?

The marrieds really don't want to hear how your life has changed. They may want you to be happy, but you are no longer one of them. You've gone and upset the status quo. They may not want your kid to play with their kids. The mom of one of my son's school friends is always 'busy,' despite the fact that our two sons used to play together almost every weekend. And I feel bad, because I know my son gets bored without his old playmates. He is 4 and while I'm willing to watch cartoons with him and wrestle with him, of course, it's not the same. I'm curious to hear if anyone is familiar with single parents' groups in the No. VA area.

Divorce can be a beautiful thing. It's just teaching your kid that life can go on and that he and I are still a family, that's the hard part. As far as surviving, though, it's nice to listen to the quiet of the new home...silence. Some people say it's scary but for me, I like it. Silence means peace, quiet. No more arguing, no more listening to nagging (my ex and I were an atypical couple; he was the nag). No more worrying that my kid would treat me like a 2nd class citizen after seeing how women were treated in my ex's family. Five months is a short time. But it's a start.