Now I get it - May 3
I was wondering why the ulcer was acting up and apparently, my body has a better memory than I do. I actually forgot today was the day I got married. How funny that I forgot so quickly. I'm happy though. I saw Judith today to discuss the crazy life changes and to verify if I'm being fair or not in my expectations.
It surprises me when people don't like counseling because, I guess I don't understand why people wouldn't want a sanity check. Of course, that's the one thing my ex got right. He suggested counseling prior to our marriage and in ignorant fashion, I told him I wouldn't marry him if we needed counseling before we walked down the aisle (stupid, stupid, so very stupid). But I assumed I knew the whole story, what could go wrong. You know someone after dating 2 years, right? Lesson learned.
Maybe that's what scares me now. People change when marriage rears its head. Porter freaked (2 years of dating) after his half-baked proposal. The ex didn't but changed dramatically, following the marriage (perhaps because I was officially his property). And I had my KS friend proposing marriage to me except for the minor detail that he was already married (probably the worst proposal -on principle-though he was very earnest).
The ex has been surprisingly decent lately. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and it may have started to. He has been pestering me to meet A and since it hasn't happened, I wonder if this could be the latest offense to his pride. Everything he does has to happen right away because God knows, he's important.
Whenever the ex takes his passage to the next realm, the church will be packed to the rafters for him. I can honestly say, even though he was the worst bastard to live with, that he takes care of people (assuming they don't marry him). He listens to people, he's always there to help with a favor. It's what I admired about him...that he was someone who was dependable, stable. I don't think he's ever turned down a friend.
God Bless Judith for pointing me to Martha Stout's Sociopath Next Door:
The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout (Paperback - Mar 14, 2006)
Buy new: $14.95 $10.17 75 Used & new from $7.60
Get it by Monday, May 7, if you order in the next 22 hours and 23 minutes.
Eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping.
That book revealed the helpful sociopath and the transcripts from our counseling sessions reveal my ex for what he is. A has mentioned that I seem willing to forgive my ex. That's not really correct. I'll never forgive my ex for a number of things (trying to run me down in my Volvo, working to push me down the stairs). But, there's no point being bitter. G's named after him and he needs to believe that his dad is a good man. And assuming he's not cornered, the ex will go out of his way for most anyone.
My main concerns are G and Jack (and A, pending his willingness). And from there, everything else will fall as it may. But it's laughable that I forgot May 3. May my body's memory focus on more important things, in future.
It surprises me when people don't like counseling because, I guess I don't understand why people wouldn't want a sanity check. Of course, that's the one thing my ex got right. He suggested counseling prior to our marriage and in ignorant fashion, I told him I wouldn't marry him if we needed counseling before we walked down the aisle (stupid, stupid, so very stupid). But I assumed I knew the whole story, what could go wrong. You know someone after dating 2 years, right? Lesson learned.
Maybe that's what scares me now. People change when marriage rears its head. Porter freaked (2 years of dating) after his half-baked proposal. The ex didn't but changed dramatically, following the marriage (perhaps because I was officially his property). And I had my KS friend proposing marriage to me except for the minor detail that he was already married (probably the worst proposal -on principle-though he was very earnest).
The ex has been surprisingly decent lately. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and it may have started to. He has been pestering me to meet A and since it hasn't happened, I wonder if this could be the latest offense to his pride. Everything he does has to happen right away because God knows, he's important.
Whenever the ex takes his passage to the next realm, the church will be packed to the rafters for him. I can honestly say, even though he was the worst bastard to live with, that he takes care of people (assuming they don't marry him). He listens to people, he's always there to help with a favor. It's what I admired about him...that he was someone who was dependable, stable. I don't think he's ever turned down a friend.
God Bless Judith for pointing me to Martha Stout's Sociopath Next Door:
The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout (Paperback - Mar 14, 2006)
Buy new: $14.95 $10.17 75 Used & new from $7.60
Get it by Monday, May 7, if you order in the next 22 hours and 23 minutes.
Eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping.
That book revealed the helpful sociopath and the transcripts from our counseling sessions reveal my ex for what he is. A has mentioned that I seem willing to forgive my ex. That's not really correct. I'll never forgive my ex for a number of things (trying to run me down in my Volvo, working to push me down the stairs). But, there's no point being bitter. G's named after him and he needs to believe that his dad is a good man. And assuming he's not cornered, the ex will go out of his way for most anyone.
My main concerns are G and Jack (and A, pending his willingness). And from there, everything else will fall as it may. But it's laughable that I forgot May 3. May my body's memory focus on more important things, in future.
posted by Michelle at 4:48 PM
1 Comments:
Funny how you were the one who didn't wan't counseling before marraige.
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