Death Knell of A Date
Funny how an off-color comment can change someone's relationship, in a matter of seconds. We had come from the usual AA meeting and had convened at Carlyle's for the food and banter. It was a larger group than usual, 12 of us (last couple times, it had been 7 of us) but things were lively and Atlanta guy was celebrating his sobriety anniversary. His date, Boston girl seemed nice enough but it was her 1st experience with the group. She seemed a good sport but could she handle the group's honesty?
A did things just right with me. He eased me into the group via coffeehouse meetings at Starbucks, so I felt more accustomed to the banter and I could see clearly that if you're easily offended, this is not the crowd for you. Atlanta guy was at a total disadvantage since his anniversary fell right after he and Boston girl had started dating (barely a month, I believe). I think she expected that they would attend the meeting and have a nice, night together, just the 2 of them. She was dressed for going out. He wore a Scorpions shirt with a jacket (very 80s). I'm not sure he warned her about the crowd (no inhibitions).
I, personally, was fascinated to watch Atlanta guy and A ping off each other. A gets along quite well with the others, but he and Atlanta guy, I don't know what it is but it's like watching gunplay with words: who's got the fastest quip. Nothing's off limits. It actually was one of the best nights that I've had, hanging out with the group and I was utterly exhausted, having had little sleep the night before.
Sadly, Atlanta guy crossed a line. He had been talking about Apache helicopters and the low dives they have to take to avoid becoming targets. Next thing you know, he glances at Boston girl and out pop the words, 'Like I do with you.' Hardly subtle, sexual innuendo. And Atlanta guy had been at it the majority of the night but Boston girl didn't enjoy the cross fire. Several folks said she winced. I didn't see but the conversation didn't improve.
Next comment came from John. He laughed and said something to the effect that neither A nor Atlanta guy would enjoy female company long, at the rate they were headed. The table erupted and I high-fived John. It wasn't true for A and me, I've known him long enough. But Boston girl was quiet. My memory's fuzzy now and I think she ducked out to the women's room. John persisted. Something to the effect of 'I don't think she was ready to meet us.'
And I told Atlanta guy the truth. If she can't handle the fire, better you learn now, than later. But I wanted the night to be perfect for him. Nothing worse than a misunderstanding marring your special occasion. And I like Boston girl, She's a journalist, like him. She's smart, inquisitive...I think she's pretty damn cool.
I thought about selling Atlanta guy to Boston girl but I don't know either of them well enough and they're both adults. We talked instead about Marc Chagall, Georgia O'Keefe, anything I could do to assure her that things weren't always so, low-brow. And I want to believe that she recovered.
There was some awkwardness as we flagged the waitress down for the check. Virtually the entire table left for a smoke break, leaving A, Atlanta guy, Boston girl and me. Atlanta guy looked miserable and practically begged for a smoke break. A agreed and Boston girl demurred, insisting that I couldn't be left alone at the table. I told her it was no problem, no big deal but out came her credit card and we both waited for the check together.
If I'd known her better, maybe we would have commiserated over how stupid guys can be. But I didn't want to highlight Atlanta guy's gaffe and John's unfortunate observation. I told her it was nice to meet her, which was true and prayed that they'd work it out and we'd see her again.
A told me not to feel sorry for Atlanta guy, that he has no problem finding women. But, I'm bleeding heart (always have been) and I hate to see his special day end on a low note. Everyone talked about her reactions afterwards. The majority think that he blew it but I want to believe that he pulled out the stops and it all worked out. It will be interesting to see exactly how much impact that comment had. Here's to short memories and 2nd chances.
A did things just right with me. He eased me into the group via coffeehouse meetings at Starbucks, so I felt more accustomed to the banter and I could see clearly that if you're easily offended, this is not the crowd for you. Atlanta guy was at a total disadvantage since his anniversary fell right after he and Boston girl had started dating (barely a month, I believe). I think she expected that they would attend the meeting and have a nice, night together, just the 2 of them. She was dressed for going out. He wore a Scorpions shirt with a jacket (very 80s). I'm not sure he warned her about the crowd (no inhibitions).
I, personally, was fascinated to watch Atlanta guy and A ping off each other. A gets along quite well with the others, but he and Atlanta guy, I don't know what it is but it's like watching gunplay with words: who's got the fastest quip. Nothing's off limits. It actually was one of the best nights that I've had, hanging out with the group and I was utterly exhausted, having had little sleep the night before.
Sadly, Atlanta guy crossed a line. He had been talking about Apache helicopters and the low dives they have to take to avoid becoming targets. Next thing you know, he glances at Boston girl and out pop the words, 'Like I do with you.' Hardly subtle, sexual innuendo. And Atlanta guy had been at it the majority of the night but Boston girl didn't enjoy the cross fire. Several folks said she winced. I didn't see but the conversation didn't improve.
Next comment came from John. He laughed and said something to the effect that neither A nor Atlanta guy would enjoy female company long, at the rate they were headed. The table erupted and I high-fived John. It wasn't true for A and me, I've known him long enough. But Boston girl was quiet. My memory's fuzzy now and I think she ducked out to the women's room. John persisted. Something to the effect of 'I don't think she was ready to meet us.'
And I told Atlanta guy the truth. If she can't handle the fire, better you learn now, than later. But I wanted the night to be perfect for him. Nothing worse than a misunderstanding marring your special occasion. And I like Boston girl, She's a journalist, like him. She's smart, inquisitive...I think she's pretty damn cool.
I thought about selling Atlanta guy to Boston girl but I don't know either of them well enough and they're both adults. We talked instead about Marc Chagall, Georgia O'Keefe, anything I could do to assure her that things weren't always so, low-brow. And I want to believe that she recovered.
There was some awkwardness as we flagged the waitress down for the check. Virtually the entire table left for a smoke break, leaving A, Atlanta guy, Boston girl and me. Atlanta guy looked miserable and practically begged for a smoke break. A agreed and Boston girl demurred, insisting that I couldn't be left alone at the table. I told her it was no problem, no big deal but out came her credit card and we both waited for the check together.
If I'd known her better, maybe we would have commiserated over how stupid guys can be. But I didn't want to highlight Atlanta guy's gaffe and John's unfortunate observation. I told her it was nice to meet her, which was true and prayed that they'd work it out and we'd see her again.
A told me not to feel sorry for Atlanta guy, that he has no problem finding women. But, I'm bleeding heart (always have been) and I hate to see his special day end on a low note. Everyone talked about her reactions afterwards. The majority think that he blew it but I want to believe that he pulled out the stops and it all worked out. It will be interesting to see exactly how much impact that comment had. Here's to short memories and 2nd chances.
posted by Michelle at 4:05 PM
1 Comments:
A classic night indeed. Too awesome! Atlanta guy's name is Chris and we actually call him New York Chris, since he's from there.
I talked to him yesterday and he's seems to have recovered with her OK, but he really couldn't talk about it at length, considering he was with another woman when I called. LOL.
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