Transition time

I hate the days that I'm in transition, following days with Andrew to days with G. The half day in between is like limbo sometimes. I've called El, Grace, I've called Josie, Tony, Alexandra (only Grace wasn't home) and the evening still feels strange. I'm wondering what he's doing and I just saw him this afternoon. I miss putzing around the house with him and I'm irritated because I'm independent, I have plenty to do. But I miss him.

I'm wondering how it would be if we lived together (which we can't, really, without my worrying about a potential custody suit with the ex). I'm wondering if he'd be irritated by the time I spend on the phone or bemused by my chattiness (and I certainly hope for the latter). I wonder if he'd be lenient with G or if he'd want to actively parent G (which while understandable, raises so many worries in my mind -- conflicts with G, the ex, etc). And I have to remind myself to breathe, relax and take things one step at a time.

And I'm laughing at myself, because who knows what's in store but look at me, I'm missing Drue.