Wreck

I'm an absolute wreck today. Last time I was pregnant, at 7 months, I hiked 4 miles in Rickett's Glenn. Stupid, but I did it. Today, I can't walk a mile without feeling like I have to pee. Drove to check out A's favorite house, a brown, low slung house off Buckhall and PW Pkwy. From the road, it looks like a Frank Lloyd Wright style of house but when you're before it, I don't think Wright would have picked white brick with dark wood. It's an odd pairing.

Drove further and saw cemeteries on either side of the road and 2 farm style homes that I really liked (neither for sale, of course). Then saw an abandoned house that the woods were reclaiming. It was as I was turning around that my stomach started hurting. As I passed the cemetery again, I wanted to vomit. And I'm irritated b/c I should be past morning sickness. I've never gotten it.

And I'll admit, even though my 1st thought is for a healthy kid, I don't want a girl. I'm scared of girls. The wives' tales say they bring morning sickness (afternoon sickness, whatever) and I can't handle it.

I'm a gagger in the worst way. I couldn't even clean up after our family cocker spaniel without gagging. Even though girls are cute and smart and develop emotionally faster than boys, I won't know what to do with a girl. Boys, I have you all figured out for the time being. They're more fun to potty train (excluding the poop part) and I'm so amused by teaching them to aim.

Running the Marine Corps marathon (without training, in 2000) did almost nothing to prepare me for pregnancy. I'm still a big wuss. For all the fault I find with my mom, she always babied me and El when we were sick. I want to be babied.