Seeing Jay

My ex dumped G and my former nephew Jay off at the last minute, so he could play softball. I get so pissed, I was trying to organize my storage space so I have space for A when he moves in. And my ex, of course, wants to believe that his needs are more valid than mine. Figures, when things were starting to be amicable between us. However, inconvenient it was though, it's nice to see Jay. My heart will always go out to him, since Carol will never be the mother he wants, the mother she should be.

Of 4 kids, Jay is the last and final kid to choose to live with his Dad or grandpa, versus living with his mom. Her lifestyle is too volatile. She has left her current husband 11+ times and while I can sympathize with most women, I find it puzzling that Carol has the financial means to live on her own [she's a nurse] but she refuses to protect and nurture her kids.

Jay looks so much healthier now. No gray smudges under his eyes. He's allowed to grow his hair a normal length now and he seems much more assured than he was. How nice to see him healthier and happier. I wish I could take off from work tomorrow to entertain him and G but work has been too crazy.

My new theory on sloppiness is it's a refusal to grow up. Me: it's partly rebellion and adjustment, since I'll miss the space of the old house a good while [my clutter piles were minimal amidst all that space]. Jay supports my theory. He says his rooms's a mess. I don't know what it is but it's comforting to know that when you're room is a mess, you're the only one that can complain and you'll fix it when you get around to it. And messiness can be such a nice barrier, when needed. No more messiness for me, though, with A moving in. Even the car will have to be cleaned for the new kid.

But on seeing Jay, I'm happy. Hopefully, I can still be an auntie to him. He's the only Yannotti relation that I talk to anymore.