wishing
I wish Andreas and I were always on the same page, but we're not. He's appalled by my lax parenting because I allow G to eat Pop Tarts on occasion and I let G stay up late on the weekends. My approach to parenting is Bill Cosby style (see cake routine). If you let a kid have a treat on occasion, whether it's cake for breakfast (on occasion) or staying up late, I don't see the problem.
Apparently, Andreas hails from my mother's school of thinking: kids should be seen and not heard, no exceptions. Granted, it's a struggle for me to be fair in this area, because I absolutely hated the way I grew up, so naturally, I'm going to raise G to be more of a thinker than a rule follower.
I was mistaken for 40 when I was 14, because my mother insisted on buying me the most godawful suits and blouses. There was no family time in my house, except for opening gifts for Christmas. Otherwise, everyone retreated to their corner of the house. Dinner was agony, eating food together since my parents never took an interest in what El and I were up to. It was always assumed that only the adults had interesting things to say. Chew food, beg for permission to leave the table and be grateful when you could escape. Yeah, good times.
Weekends are my only fun times with G. During the week, my routine with G is structured around his swim lessons, his homework, assuming that I don't have to work late. This week, I worked late every single night, it kills me. It's nice to have two days off to relax with G. Regular rules still apply : eating together, no eating in front of the TV but weekends are looser, easier.
Both G and Andreas are accustomed to getting my full attention, I can't imagine the two coexisting peacefully. When we go out together, I do have the best time, from Cox farms to the Dulles Annex. And G likes Andreas for the most part. He still wants his dad and me to reunite but I just remind G that his dad and I fought all the time. But given Andreas' disapproval of my parenting style (I know I'm not eager to change it), I'm not sure what the way forward would be.
I keep telling Andreas, if he wants to know what it's like to have a kid, get a puppy. While understandably, they're not equivalent, they are the closest things to kids. I'd be curious how much of a rule person he'd actually be. I want to believe that if he had kids, he'd want them to be smart and to think for themselves and that he'd apply rules to fit the situation versus barking out orders, no exceptions. I'd expect him to choose the former. And when people like rules, it never seems to occur to them that compliance can be faked (El's case). And inflexible rules certainly don't foster empathy and understanding.
Court was weird today, but I was happy with the verdict. Gino dragged me there for nothing. The courts were an hour and a half behind schedule so Jim convinced the ex's lawyer to conference call with me to my Benefits Dept, so they could verify my proof of life insurance. Gino's lawyer is a quarrelsome dumbass. He refuted the paper printouts of the proof of life insurance, but whatever. The case was dismissed with prejudice: Gino can't drag me back to court on this. Jim remains worth every penny. But I am tired of shelling out for the retainers. Here's wishing that Gino becomes less difficult. A girl can dream.
Apparently, Andreas hails from my mother's school of thinking: kids should be seen and not heard, no exceptions. Granted, it's a struggle for me to be fair in this area, because I absolutely hated the way I grew up, so naturally, I'm going to raise G to be more of a thinker than a rule follower.
I was mistaken for 40 when I was 14, because my mother insisted on buying me the most godawful suits and blouses. There was no family time in my house, except for opening gifts for Christmas. Otherwise, everyone retreated to their corner of the house. Dinner was agony, eating food together since my parents never took an interest in what El and I were up to. It was always assumed that only the adults had interesting things to say. Chew food, beg for permission to leave the table and be grateful when you could escape. Yeah, good times.
Weekends are my only fun times with G. During the week, my routine with G is structured around his swim lessons, his homework, assuming that I don't have to work late. This week, I worked late every single night, it kills me. It's nice to have two days off to relax with G. Regular rules still apply : eating together, no eating in front of the TV but weekends are looser, easier.
Both G and Andreas are accustomed to getting my full attention, I can't imagine the two coexisting peacefully. When we go out together, I do have the best time, from Cox farms to the Dulles Annex. And G likes Andreas for the most part. He still wants his dad and me to reunite but I just remind G that his dad and I fought all the time. But given Andreas' disapproval of my parenting style (I know I'm not eager to change it), I'm not sure what the way forward would be.
I keep telling Andreas, if he wants to know what it's like to have a kid, get a puppy. While understandably, they're not equivalent, they are the closest things to kids. I'd be curious how much of a rule person he'd actually be. I want to believe that if he had kids, he'd want them to be smart and to think for themselves and that he'd apply rules to fit the situation versus barking out orders, no exceptions. I'd expect him to choose the former. And when people like rules, it never seems to occur to them that compliance can be faked (El's case). And inflexible rules certainly don't foster empathy and understanding.
Court was weird today, but I was happy with the verdict. Gino dragged me there for nothing. The courts were an hour and a half behind schedule so Jim convinced the ex's lawyer to conference call with me to my Benefits Dept, so they could verify my proof of life insurance. Gino's lawyer is a quarrelsome dumbass. He refuted the paper printouts of the proof of life insurance, but whatever. The case was dismissed with prejudice: Gino can't drag me back to court on this. Jim remains worth every penny. But I am tired of shelling out for the retainers. Here's wishing that Gino becomes less difficult. A girl can dream.
posted by Michelle at 3:47 AM
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